Some come to me and say I do not know how to help, my knowledge is limited, I know it is the truth but I cannot find the words. You are looking in the wrong place! You don’t need all the insights stored in your brain, it is your experience of the truth that gives power to your words, not the copying of my words of being able to show the whole structure, no it is expressing your personal experience that is the spark that lights the others heart.
I spoke of the silver bird, used to explain an airplane to someone who never did see an airplane, I used my life’s experiences (giving of yourself), I used my personal drama’s, my personal blindness I came to see as tools to explain. And learned to listen and look at others in the right way, and through talking with them see their words and what they mean to them so I could in turn use them to clarify. And at times avoid using them because of the emotions attached to them which would lead them to go in defense and so close off.
Don’t worry using your personal failure or defeat, using them gives them new purpose, they become a gift and learns you to open up. Think also that the one in need is emotionally blinded, his emotion does the thinking, just don’t fuel it.
“If you have knowledge, let others light their candles with it.”
What a fantastic quote by Winston Churchill.
Each of you has tremendous resources, gained through years of learning and experience. Yet, how many of you realize the potential of what you know in helping others?
So many people belittle themselves, believing that they don’t really know enough to offer any advice to others. They underestimate the value of their experiences, which is often vast. Yet, every single day, your experiences provide you with more useful knowledge and skills.
Over time, this accumulates and makes us skilful and knowledgeable in many different areas.
In business or in a debate there is this great need to win.
When arguing with family, the goal should not be to win, not even in business or debate.
Arguing with someone close to you isn’t about winning. It’s about restoring that emotional balance(and close to you is everyone).
In such an argument, do you really want to come out and say “HEY! Look at ME! Justice has prevailed! I WON! I’m such a GREAT person that I managed to verbally bash down my loved one!”
In arguments with family, the goal is just to be open to the situation — and, without any of that formal “point-by-point” nonsense, seek to bring balance to your relationship again.
Words sometimes get in the way.
You argue to balance out your emotions again. You use words to reposition your feelings. You feel bad, so you argue until you believe somebody else sees and accepts your point, then you can feel good again. Words are the “labels” that are limiting your experience.
So here is what you do the next time you’re in an argument, remember that it’s all just WORDS. They’re just pointers that help you reposition your feelings.
And knowing that, decide to act ONLY on your actual experience — how the other person acts — rather than getting caught up in the verbal story.
Anyone can talk. Words are cheap. Even these ones.
They MEAN something.
And remember: The next time you argue, at least with those you love, you don’t have to win to get a successful outcome.
Just as I explained how to read the articles so you act in life, they might not know you for your words but by your deeds.
Moshiya van den Broek