A past experience is like a film frame through which the light is projected on the screen with its own goal to recreate in order to have awareness, much like the expression: like seeks alike.
It uses you to do so, in other words it seeks for itself. Let’s imagine personality is a build-up of several different persons, the fearful one, the angry one, sad one, loving one, jealous one, longing one etc.
And each of them only knows its own field of experience and nothing of the other or only a little. In order for them to experience they need to recognize something of themselves. You all know someone who always seems to see something negative in a particular situation, or someone who is very jealous who always seems to find a reason to be jealous.
Now let’s also imagine that each part of that personality is a bucket in which it collects similar experiences, the fuller the bucket becomes the more weight it gets or in other words the more influence it will have on you, the more of that part of personality will play the main role in your movie. Ask yourselves where freedom is in this?
Each bucket becomes a self-supporting life with its own goal or purpose. Usually none of them really becomes the main actor in your movie, but those buckets which all have wires to your senses get impulses you are not even aware of anymore, some of those stored images, sounds etc. are long forgotten by you but not by Mr. bucket, because he specializes in this field, the field of emotion. Just like a musician who can recall each song due to a trained mind, you and the trained mind of the musician are not the same so you are impressed by his ability to recall the songs.
A mind that is used by any of these emotional buckets will become more powerful each time he took the lead, yes you do not like anger, sadness or jealousy but when that particular Mr bucket seeks to express and experience you become his tool to do so, even only for a little moment. While each moment he experiences a similar situation, each maybe with a small difference, adds up to a wider field in which he will be able to recognize of himself.
That bucket contains experiences from your earliest childhood, moments which have not even made connections with words, but still steer up emotions/feelings, and some people consider this something high like intuition, as if it is a gained higher ability.
In fact it shows how low true consciousness really is, each time you experience a feeling or a chain of thought, or a tendency to judge..
Realize then who is the real one that is responding. Ask yourself who responds to it? Who is the one feeling? If you identify yourself with it then you are likely recreating your past in more and more different settings until you realize this and become strong enough to raise your awareness high enough in each moment so family Bucket does not run your life anymore.
Understand that each image, sound and smell makes its own connections. The same is to words, just ask anyone what happiness means to them and you will hear how different the meaning of happiness is for some.
Maybe you sold your soul to the devil too? Maybe you let him run your life at times? DEVIL is really his title and not his name, his real family name is Mr. Bucket.
Moshiya van den Broek