157. Soul mate

Throughout the internet and spiritual magazines the word soul mate is used as being marriage material, the only right one for you. The real danger in this line of thinking is that many people mistake a wave of emotion as the identifying mark of their soul mate.

Deep in the heart there is hope that there is someone out there who is the ‘right one’ for you. Loneliness is a hunger born deep in the heart. It is reflective of the inner need and eagerness to seek fulfilment and completeness. As human beings mature into adults, they consciously become more and more aware of their heart’s inner despondency and strive to satiate it through various means. The most prominent way of course is by relating to others. Recognize here again that you personify with loneliness and eagerness while if you identify them with the devil then you and him are not the same person(ality).

This can really only be done in true awareness, but to see it in this way is easier for you to understand. When I say the devil chose your bride/husband, some will get a smile on their face and say : very true haha…others will say no: I have my soul mate(don’t you think that those who say “very true”, started out to say the same you do?)

Let me explain something important here, the soul has 3 levels: spiritual, mental and physical and the devil houses in those lower two, as male and female that have to become one, feeling needs to become wise. And because you focus(ed) on the material and mental you took it to mean in a material and mental way and made them your slave.

Now another important point, god is all knowing, all wise, not only you but the devil too turned away from god, and like god’s guidance in your life many are not often aware of it, been also done through the devil, yes he too could not be without god, the devil lives in an illusion too. In his seeking he creates patterns and eventually you start to recognize these patterns and you learn and fall again and learn again until you really start to see that you really sold 2/3 of your soul to the devil. But this one part, this trinity set boundaries, created a system that would eventually lead you back to him.

But pay attention I do not say there is no such thing as a soul mate, I say there are, two that need to be joined to enter into the one. Even those who laughed earlier saying “true” need to understand in this breaking up of this relationship there lies great treasures, lessons to assist in your growth, if you have developed eyes to see and ears to hear, and that the unity that you can have with a partner can be this great experience of gifts, growth and beauty if gods become alive in you. You will then awaken in the garden realizing god forgave you.

The philosopher Plato is often credited with the “soul mate theory”. He said that prior to birth a perfect soul was split into “male and female”, and that to be complete they must find each other and “reunite their souls”. That explanation fosters the notion that there’s only one person in the world who can truly be my “soul mate”. Furthermore, it implies that there’s only one person in the whole world you could be happily married to, and therefore only one person with whom you can be “truly happy”.

The Bible guides on different levels “looking in the right direction!” is the first layer, the outer story, there is not “one right choice” for marriage, but rather good and bad choices. You are encouraged to use wisdom, not destiny, as your guide when choosing a marital partner.

Consider, for example, Paul’s advice in 1 Corinthians 7:1-9 . He clearly leaves the choice of marriage up to you; there are benefits to singleness, and benefits to being married. If you’re unable to handle sexual temptation as a single, Paul says, then by all means, get married. There is no hint at all of finding “the one person” that God created “just for you”. It’s far more a pragmatic choice: do you think you’ll sin sexually if you don’t get married (1 Corinthians 7:2)? Are you acting improperly toward a woman you could marry (1 Corinthians 7:36 )? If so, go ahead and get married, it’s your choice, and God gives you that freedom. Remember also that you find and come across what you need.

Proverbs takes the same approach: “A wife of noble character, who can find?” (31:10, NIV). This passage has been hilariously misunderstood as being directed toward women, but the verse you’ve just read makes it clear that Proverbs 31 was written mostly for young, single men, telling them, “This is what you want to look for in a wife”. And the top thing to consider is this: “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised” (Proverbs 31:30). The Bible is telling young men to search for a woman of character; looks won’t last, but character never leaves. Note here that character is still personality but on this level as guidance for on the way.

I can speak from experience: nothing compares to being married to a godly woman. Nothing! But there is also nothing more tedious and exhausting than being married to a narcissist, or a selfish woman. But they come on your path for a reason but could for each be different in lessons to be learned so the two become one.

The search for “the one” is often an idolatrous pursuit, you must believe that your primary meaning comes from your relationship with God: “Seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness…”Matthew 6:33, emphasis added). Thus, you should not consider any marital union that would not feed this primary relationship with God. You’ll bring misery into your life if you ignore this command.

But also, just as importantly you should not enter into a marriage expecting more than another human can give. If your wife looks to you to be God for her, to love her like only God can love her, you’ll fail every time and on every count. You’ll be trying, but you fall short every day. Tragically, I see too many young people wanting to get married in order to find this God-acceptance and God-love. Infatuation can initially feel like it approaches this God-love, but eventually it fades, disillusionment sets in, and the once “fabulous” relationship soon becomes an excruciating prison, therefore open up for this truth.

Can I suggest a more biblical pattern? Instead of following Plato in pursuit of our soul mate, we should seek to find a biblical “right partner”. Such partner is someone who walks with you as together you apply biblical love. The most accurate definition of true love is found in John 15:13: “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.”

This love is not based on feelings, but on sacrifice. The Bible calls men to act like martyrs toward their wives, laying down their own lives on their wives’ behalf (Ephesians 5:25). Love is not an emotion; it’s a policy and a commitment that we choose to keep. Such a love is not based on the worthiness of the person being loved — none of us deserve Christ’s sacrifice! — but on the worthiness of the One who calls us to love: “We love because he first loved us” (1 John :4:19).

When partners appreciate that marriage is a school of character. Clement of Alexandria, an early church father (ca. 150-215), captures this thinking marvellously when he writes, “The prize in the contest of men is shown by him who has trained himself by the discharge of the duties of marriage; by him, I say, who in the midst of his solicitude for his family shows himself inseparable from the love of God.” Clement asks, who wins the prize? Not the couple displaying the most emotion, with the biggest smiles on their faces, or who can’t keep their hands off each other; but rather, the women or men who, through the duties and sacrifice of marriage, have trained themselves to love with God’s love. They live out the gospel on a daily basis, forgiving, serving, and putting others first in the most ordinary issues of life in such a way that they see themselves in training for godliness.

That means a sacrificial mind-set marked by generosity, kindness, and mercy for your partner certainly is your soul mate, your precious sister in Christ.

A biblical soul mate who walks in this truth, who daily travels God’s journey of sacrificial love, and who willingly goes “into training” for godliness is a far more stable foundation upon which to build a lifelong partnership than the emotional attraction. “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends”. This may not sound like the most exciting or emotional love, but it is certainly closer to love.

In number language Yin and Yang/Male and female, is 96 and as you might remember Daath is 33.

Therefore 33 x 96 is 3168 Christ.



Moshiya van den Broek